Before launching into a daily blog there needs to be some appreciation of how I got here. In many ways its not really relevant to the present, but I would like to document it in case it is of use to others. This entry will be concerned with the some of the signs and there will be be a separate entry to record the emotional impact. Its a bit of a dry topic, so you prepare for lengthy tome or skip it.
The most important piece of advice I can give regarding my condition is that if you ever have difficulty in swallowing your food, without experiencing any pain then go and see a doctor. If you are confronted by such a symptom then there is no need to run around your room shouting "I've got cancer" because it could be caused by many different factors. However, I think that there is a tendency to get checked out when we experience pain or symptoms that put us on our backs but not to check out basic mechanics like this.
I have not been able to get through a meal without an accompanying glass of water for a few months but my situation was clouded by another symptom that I have ignored for years. I have been experiencing what my consultant termed as "bland reflux" for years. Nothing worse than my food popping back into my mouth after eating it, with the same taste as it went down. No acid feeling or heartburn pain or "sicky" feeling. I didn't read anything into this because I've never been a great chewer of food and it was suggested by those near and dear that this was the likely reason. The net result was that when I started having difficulty swallowing the same likely reason was tabled though I did make a conscious effort to start thinking about what I was doing.
The swallowing issues are the most specific symptoms but on a general note I haven't been feeling fantastic for a while. There hasn't been anything specific and nothing that couldn't be put down to perhaps slowing down as I enter deeper into my forties (I am 44). I'm settled, so I don't lead a wild life style but I have partied plenty in the past. Forget medical issues and symptoms, I have noticed that in the last three or four years my recovery from a good night out has dipped considerably and my capacity to go out and binge on beers and Jack Daniels has waned in equal measure. However, I do generally look after myself fairly well. My weight is prone to drift up, as I enjoy a glass of wine and enjoy my food, but when it becomes excessive I get in the gym and take it off again (a touch of the Ricky Hatton's - but without the talent).
I've also had one or two issues. Recurring ear infections have been a problem though I never had one until my mid to late thirties and also a urinary infection a couple of years ago that I remember the doctor commenting on it being unusual in someone my age.
Things have built up over the last couple of years ago and I have noticed people saying that I don't look well when I am on a night out. It hasn't been pointed out in a gentle way but rather a spur of the moment, blurted and undiplomatic way.
This year when I decided to get in the gym and get fit I was struggling with cardio exercise at levels that I normally warm up at but put this down to the fact that I was ice-skating regularly - a hobby that I took up to spend time with my daughter. I just assumed that my legs were tired from ice-skating so my capacity to push myself was lessened.
Then I had a number of triggers last December which were fired in quick succession. Banter with a friend at work lead to a running challenge. We shall refer to him as "Super Frank" who was in training for the marathon and who had recently run a half-marathon. His time was just under 10 minute mile pace, which to my mind is just above walking pace. So the banter started and I thought I'd better get into training.
I haven't run for a good 10 to 15 years but thought that for 4 or 5 miles seven minute miles should be easily achievable in a couple of months. The first time I got on the treadmill I did a mile in 10 minutes and felt like I was going to pass out. I'd lost over a stone and was weighing around 11st 4lbs so, regardless of how long I hadn't run for I shouldn't feel like I was just about to have a heart attack.
I dismissed it and tried a two mile run a couple of days later thinking that I was out of practice, but that was no better and I walked / ran the second mile. A third run saw two ten minute miles and I could see my £50 bet wafting in Super Frank's direction. I was a little bemused.
I'd been off the "pop" for a couple of months whilst I lost weight but didn't really feel like getting in the Christmas party spirit, but a night out in London with friends for show and a drink set the alarm bells ringing. A few drinks before the show including a strong cocktail made me feel restless in my seat and struggling to hold my attention. I hadn't had a lot to drink but it was more a case of having "restless legs" something that I had been suffering with more in the evenings and the feeling of becoming tired suddenly.
A few drinks after the show and these, my closest friends, were telling me that I looked very pale. I then got drunk quickly and grouchy. I always seem to get grouchy after a good drink these days.
I skipped other nights out over the Christmas period and didn't bother with drink until Christmas itself. A couple of glasses of wine in the evenings and I was strolling around the living room with "restless legs" and off to bed at 10pm feeling drained.
At that point I decided to get a blood test done that had been assigned for my recurring ear infections and then went to the doctors.
The first stab at diagnosis was dyspepsia i.e. my problems were caused by acid reflux from the stomach which may be caused by a number of factors but the most common being a peptic ulcer or a bacterial infection H. pylori. Despite pressing, no explanation was offered for the fatigue I was suffering. I guess that the assumption was that the suggested condition could cause the other symptoms. I was prescribed "lansoprazole" tablets for a month to see how I did.
The next day I remained unconvinced by the diagnosis, especially as when I looked closer the symptoms and diagnosis could be caused by coeliac disease which is prevalent in my mother's side of the family.
I went back to a doctors and was allocated a different doctor who had already received my blood test results. My haemaglobin levels were low enough for me to be considered severely anaemic. There was a check to request that I undergo a "rectal" examination so I "lost my virginity" despite protestations that I had only come down for a chat. There were calls to the hospital to see whether I should be admitted but instead I had an appointment arranged to see a gastric consultant on the 12th January and was left to dwell on my circumstance walking home with KY Jelly dripping down my leg. It was New Year's Eve and, unsurprisingly, celebrations were muted.
The appointment on the 12th January suggested the likely cause as being coeliac given the prevelance in the family and I had an endoscopy arranged for the 25th. It was here that the alarm bells started ringing.
The endoscopy was uncomfortable enough given what the condition transpired to be but the patient's copy of the results form was fairly suggestive. It included terms such as severe lesion and stricture in oesophagaus and urgent CT staging scan required. To my undertanding a staging scan is used to determine how far a cancer has spread. It was suggested to me that the endoscopist may be being thorough but I assumed that when you spend your day looking down peoples' throats you get a fairly good sense of what you are seeing down there. My wife and I were therefore prepared for the worse.
The CT scan was a formality. It's a non invasive procedure and they scanned by chest, abdomen and pelvis. It took place on Wednesday, 3rd February.
D-day was with my consultant on Tuesday 9th Feb. The hospital I had visited for my initial consultation, endoscopy and CT Scan was a few minutes drive so we left it until the last minute to drive there. It was only when I got to the unit where my original consultation was that I realised I was in the wrong place. It was like a magician's trick; play the same move three times and the mind assumes that same event will be replayed.
So, a dash to the otherside of town and we were in the right place.
A short wait then into the room with the consultant, a nurse and a case nurse.
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