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Thursday, 20 January 2011

Recap

Over the past period there have been two different strands of key information.

The first has been about my on-going recovery from hospitalisation and the second has been about the general progression of the disease.

It has to be said that the former has been slow but it has provided some obvious returns.   The overall benefit though has been clouded by the latter.

I am not one to just roll over because medics tell me  that the overall picture is grim but I do know what I see, feel and experience.  The last few weeks have have been very tough and very draining and commensurate with what I have been told.   There is a tangible slippage in treatment from the view of the Marsden and that is that I am not eligible for any of the chemotherapy trials that have previously been talked about, simply because I am not strong enough to deal with them.  This effectively reduces the Marsdens's role in my care and sits it more firmly with the MacMillan nurses and my GP, though the Marsden is still only a phone call away.

It is important to reiterate what a nasty cancer that cancer of the oesophagus is.  Fighting one cancer isn't the same task as fighting another and all I can do is do my best with what is put in front of me.

When I talk with the medics they do not "throw" bad information at me.  I ask the questions and it is clear that there is no chance of recuperation from the disease bar divine intervention.  Everything points to say that the disease is rampant and out of control.

This explains my attitude of just wanting to get the best out of the days that I can with the limited energy resources that I have.

6 comments:

  1. Thank you for your continued updates .
    How unselfish, when you have everything to think about, your inspiration and strength of character is incredible and will never be forgotten.
    I continue to remember you and yours in my prayers especially too the children. The love and hugs must be so so extra special amongst you all.
    May you all know peace.
    MA

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  2. rumps,

    sorry to hear about the bad news from the docs, i know how much of a drain it can be especially when you have to be as optimistic as possible in these times. one thing i can tell you from experience is that their guesses of time frames can be as wide as ashley cole's shots (sorry to have a dig at your beloved Chelsea - but hoping you find it funny =]).

    after my father was diagnosed he was treated etc, very similar to you to be fair, and he was eventually given weeks by the docs.. well i can tell you he was with us (and in good shape too might i add) for another couple years so hope you're not too down mate, 'cus the strength you've shown and continue to do so will yield some rewards!

    praying for you and your fam, chin up mate 'cus i expect to be reading this blog for a good while yet!

    all the best!

    Wall St.

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  3. At the moment Pocahontas and I are working our way through a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle that she got for Christmas, Boogle too has had a hand in it. The puzzle is extremely therapeutic and relaxing, the picture is of Merlin and I think of Swordfish every time I sit down to it as it reminds me of when I first met the wonderful DJ in a bar in Kingston. You have been an inspiration to all of us and have given your friends and family more than you can imagine. My H became your kitten all those years ago and in the last 12 years you have been her inspiration, made her happy and given her two wonderful children but most of all your love and in case I have not said it before “thank you” I’m not sure I could listen to her singing “last night a DJ saved my life” one more time!! (it went on for days in the beginning of your relationship) we have shared great times together over the years, birthdays, weddings, babies etc.. and today I’m sending you love, hugs & kisses (not sure if big boss knows your nickname for me) you’ve always been a charmer from your chocolate drop eyes x

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  4. Rumps
    You are as ever pragmatic about what life continues to throw in your path. I am ever hopeful that your respite will last longer than the medics think.
    You are, if it can be said about a man, "full of grace"
    Best wishes
    Changeling x

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  5. Morning Swordfish
    I continue to be amazed and inspired by you, and feel full of admiration for your approach to everything that is being thrown at you.
    As you point out all cancers are different, and nothing is certain in this life, I have a friend whose Mum was told she had six months to live and she is still alive and kicking five years later.
    My husband has a roofer who does worked for him, who was told he had three months to live over four years ago, we saw him up on a roof the other day!
    I was thinking about Lance Armstrong, Elizabeth Taylor, Rod Stewart, Bob Champion, Robert De Nero, Sharon Osborn, Kylie Mynogue, Russell Watson and so many more, these are names in the public eye and there must be millions more who are not famous.
    We always hear the bad news on TV and in the newspapers, but I guess there are millions of fighters like you who defy all odds and miracles can happen.
    I know that everyone who is following this blog will join me and wish as hard as we all can for a miracle to happen here for you. We are all with you in mind and spirit. Lots of us don’t know you, but I think we have all been touched by your courage, bravery, pragmatic, constructive account of such a traumatic time.
    Very Best Wishes to you and your family
    Love Sue x

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  6. All my life I have always looked up to you and been in awe of you, and right now I am even more in awe of you with how you are dealing with all of this. I am very proud to have such an amazing godfather. Love Roxy xx

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