A Little Stability - Some Positives

There are definitely some positives to be drawn at the moment.

My energy levels, although not booming, are well off the floor levels that they have been at for the last few weeks.  I am stronger in the mornings than in the afternoon as I tend to fade.  These these things can be difficult to measure as things are much more gentle in the morning at home i.e. the children are here in the afternoon!  As much as I would like to be, I am still not capable of coping with the complete presence of a 9 and 6 year old.

The stent seems to have settled as much as it is going to and eating is comfortable.  I am having to eat small meals (around 250 calories) as that seems to be about the limit of what my liver can process without me being sick.   Most mealtimes are difficult as I can sometimes still get hot and dizzy and have to make the effort to make sure that the feeling does not escalate.

The sickness bouts I have are more minimal and are more to do with the mechanics of the situation.  These I can cope with.

My weight has also stabilised again and a few pounds have bounced back on though it must be said that I am painfully thin and without any real prospect of regaining even the recently lost weight.   My current intake simply doesn't allow for significant weight gain.

So what are my aims.  My aims are simple.  First I want to keep on improving my eating and general well-being.  That way I can look hopefully of more than a walk to the paper shop or around the garden centre.  Second is to reduce my reliance on the oral morphine.   Whilst I have been ill I have have been using it more as a sleeping aid than a night time pain killer and the doses I am taking are probably excessive.   The drowsiness it causes run over into the following day, so I need to iron out this whole area.

The last thing is to hope that there are not any other major other blips around the corner.  Part of my conversations at the Marsden and at the Hospice today will be focused on how to deal with any problems quicker and better should they arise.  An example would be the suggestion of using a feeding "peg" to get direct feed to the stomach as a quick turn around.   This rather than experiencing the exhaustion that I did when building myself back up over a one and a half week turn around process.