Hope

When I listen to the staff talk at the Marsden now, I hear the word "hope" recurring.

Rather than being on a straight through process they now "hope" that the radiotherapy and chemotherapy will work.

Whilst that is no doubt an accurate assessment of position, I always feel quite comfortable when those "in authority", and seemingly best placed to judge, don't.

It is just in my nature to be more resourcful when I feel more isolated and with the odds stacked against me.

Naturally, I would rather be secure in positive science than in "hope" but hope is not always a bad place to be as it places is the emphasis on the individual to act.

I have discussed the next period of treatment with work and, as ever, have had solid support.  This is much appreciated and now gives me the licence to switch my focus to the healing process whilst being able to continue to contribute, albeit at a reduced level.  In many ways there is not much change here, rather a difference in emphasis but I can feel relaxed and unworried going forward.

So things are very much down to me and isn't that where everyone should always be?