Billy the Fish

Billy the Fish, Notoplip and I have been somewhat of a triumvirate since my mid-twenties.

I have explained that I met Notoplip when my other mates (including Car Crash and Eddie Cruise) had either settled down or gone travelling.   Billy the Fish and Notoplip have been friends since childhood and it is no surprise that I met the at the same time together.

I socialised with both regularly through my twenties and early thirties and spent a lot of time outside of the pubs and nightclubs with Billy the Fish.  This because we spent our mid to late twenties as training partners down the gym.   We would train rigorous and long sessions 3-4 times a week and were very close during this period.

During this time all three of us were in relationships.  The difference being that whilst Billy the Fish's relationship was the first to break down (after several years) it also was the only one to recover.   We all established relationships in the summer / autumn of 1991 and Billy the Fish is still with his partner Saucy Sue.  Notoplip and I were with our partners for about five years or so but have since found the women of our dreams :-)

I am still very close to Billy but see less of him because we all move into our grown up spheres and his is more dominated by community circles such as his children's schools whereas I have always been happy to slip into Notoplip's circle revolving around the football club he has been involved in.  It is now the football club that Huffty plays for too.

Needless to say that, we all still get together for major occasions and sometimes just for a curry and a beer but the point that I am making is that whereas I now see less of Billy the Fish he is still there in the background and is the kind of mate where either of us would do anything for each other whenever required.  A good friend to have.

Billy is perhaps more reserved than Notoplip but that does not mean that he is not capable of being equally as foolish and as childish.

Even though he is more prone to be inviting all the mums and dads back from a school social event he is on record as entertaining them all until four in the morning with his extensive wine cellar before kicking them out and then retiring to swim around his ample sized pond in his full evening wear.  Indeed I recall seeing him the following morning at a children's party where Notoplip and I looked as fresh as daisies and Billy looked "slightly worse for wear".

Billy the Fish is so called because of his love of fishing, though he has less time to practice the art these days.  He was also somewhat unflatteringly referred to as "Cod Face" during his twenties though the resemblance is there for all to see.

He can also give Car Crash a run for his money.  Whilst I cannot recall him having a car accident in recent years I believe that he wrote off an incredible number of cars in his teens through the sort of irresponsible and juvenile driving that we would all frown on if we saw it from teenage boys these days  :-)

I am reminded of the European Championship Quarter Finals in 1996 when England where hosts.   Only Billy and I (of the quintessence) were attending the wedding of our good friend "Baldy Ian" in a very plush four or five star Midlands hotel.   England were playing Spain that day and it goes without saying that all of the male guests were doing their best to keep in touch with the progress of the game.  Billy was in fine spirits.  He was with Saucy Sue and I was with my then partner but it was him that was taking the lead on our table to entertain every one and doing a fine job too. 

Whilst all the male guests had resigned themselves to not knowing what was happening at the end of extra-time it transpired that Billy the Fish had set himself up in the Kitchen, which was adjacent to our table.  He had befriended all of the waiters and was sitting with them listening to the penalty shoot out whilst helping himself to as many roast potatoes as he desired.  We only discovered when he started popping out to give as a goal by goal resume of the penalty shoot out score with roast potato in one hand and vino tinto in the other.

His mood continued into the night.  There was a band playing and when they took a break they asked that no-one touch their musical instruments.  That was no warning for Billy who immediately set himself behind the drum kit and started banging his pots and pans whilst singing "Three Lions on a Shirt" in front of the whole wedding.  It went on for quite some time too.  The only person who look uncomfortable was the band's drummer.

I can still see it now  "Three Lions on a Shirt.  Jules Rimet still gleaming.  Thirty years of hurt.  Never stopped me dreaming".