Humility Part III

Well Notoplip, the boys and I witnessed Chelsea being humbled by Sunderland at Stamford Bridge day.  It is a shame for Sunderland that more of their fans didn't turn up because I have never seen such a poorly supported away team.  All in all in completed a miserable weekend of sport for me with Wales also losing the rugby yesterday

Onto more important matters, I haven't got my appointment card to hand for tomorrow, so I don't know what the appointment time is.  I'll give the Marsden a ring tomorrow to find out.

I know that might sound a little disorganised, but you can see from the appointments page that I have pretty much kept tabs on everything along the way.  The fact is that I remember it as afternoon and the appointments for clinics are often not particularly punctual.

As I have been typing, Kitten has been looking and (as ever) a woman's eyes are so much better at these things.  The appointment time is 4:15pm so I can look to clearing the hospital at 6 - 6:30pm at the latest.

I guess that tomorrow will feel like a slightly long day but, as I have already said, I feel quite comfortable.  I do feel a long way away though from where I was in July.  Then I had an operation date set two weeks in advance and the chemotherapy had gone fine.  Then came the call and my world was turned upside down.

There is a world of difference between having a well developed cancer whilst still being in a controlled process with the expectation of success to having to rely on speculative treatment.

I am still in the game though and back in July it looked for a while like they were going to pull the plug.

There isn't a guarantee of firm news tomorrow, simply because the scan date has been brought forward four weeks and so there is still four weeks for the radiotherapy treatment that finished in September to complete its effect.   I expect that they should have a good idea of where we are at though.

During the first phase of treatment I kind of felt like "is that all you've got" in terms of the discomfort I was experiencing.  Cancer with the prospect of cure and chemotherapy seemed tolerable and not too bad.   This phase of treatment has delivered  what I originally expected.

When I started treatment I expected it to bring me to my knees at some point and when there was discussion over me in July I said simply "throw whatever you have got over it, I am only interested in cure".   Well they have and it hurt at every level.

As I have said before, I believe humility to be something that you feel rather than something that you project and others perceive.

Right now I am feeling humble but hopeful.