Whilst it continues to be difficult to eat I have already moved on from there because it is nothing more than an inconvenience and a point of planning how to get the calories in.
The real game now is whether the treatment has done enough to get me in the operating theatre.
Let's be clear about this, I am not expecting a complete cure from the latest batch of treatment. I think that would be beyond all expectations but getting into theatre and having an operation to get rid of the cancer has to be the focus.
When you are in the throes of the treatment it is difficult to see beyond the immediate difficulties but, in the grand scheme of things, I am currently contained by inconveniences rather than insurmountable difficulty.
So, all I can do is put myself in the best frame of mind and hope for the best. I won't set my expectations high because previous experience tells me that cautious optimism and level-headedness is the best way forward.
A few weeks ago I was at a real low, but it is in my nature to draw strength when in such circumstances. Getting food down when suffering searing pain in the foot pipe, dragging myself up the hospital when I realised that I was no longer able to get enough down, holding myself together through the last chemotherapy session and also the blood transfusion all serve as good examples.
The treatment is finished and so there is nothing physically that I can do to alter its path, but proceeding with a little dignity and a smile and a desire to succeed is a good foot to put forward.
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