Moments of Truth

There have been many connections for me over the last week with elements of my past.

In a recent post I talked about my nan who was cherished by all of her family and by a wide circle of friends.  My nan (my mother's mother) sadly passed away close to six and a half years ago but it feels like a lot less than that.  Today is also the 39th anniversary of when her husband, my grandfather, who was also seriously ill at a young age and passed away.  I was mindful of the fact that Kitten has become my carer in a similar way as my nan was to my grandfather for many years.  I remember that he also often ate the same things with mashed potato and cooked ham being menu regulars.  We also (Tricky Crow and I) used to peel and cut apples for him and our honour was to take his lunch through to him in his room

This week has been notable also because news of my illness has also filtered out to someone who was a friend of mine through much of my school experience and with whom I have recently lost touch.  It was good to hear from "Mr Ibanez" and shocking to realise that his eldest is 19 and off to university.

I have also just had a difficult conversation with a close family member about my condition.  My thrust was how it can affect different people in different ways and that it is important to understand that, in some ways, it is easier for me than for others.  I have a constant but continually changing picture, I am optimistic by nature and. I also feel that I am helped by an underlying philosophy that I associate strength with being a willingness to adapt and change rather than an exercise of power resulting in a clear cut win for the defender / aggressor.  My philosphy is similar to that of the boxer who believes it to be just as important to be skilled in avoiding punches and being accurate with his work as well as having a knockout punch and a strong chin.

All of these things and the birth of Roxy's child reminding me of a simple rhyming poem that I wrote about realisations, acceptance and the power of drawing from memories of dear ones that we have lost. 

At this point it is equally poignant to mention that a good friend and colleague of mine "Hoo Haa" got married yesterday.  Now that really is a moment of truth and I was somewhat disappointed that my current problems stopped Kitten and me from attending.  Anyway my congratulations to him and his good lady wife.  As Hoo Haa is  a staunch Englisman it is good to see that he has decided to share his life with a lady of some Welsh roots.  Well done Hoo Haa, a good choice.

The poem's reference to a pearl perhaps has extra significance because it is a meaning that often attributed to the name which  both my nan and my daughter share.  It is also sometimes given the meaning "strong" or "great" My daugther was named after my nan.