Like any malaise, sometimes you have to try and push your way out of it.
Of course there is no point in trying when you are too weak.
My strength has come up a little over the last couple of days and, although I did not have a great start this morning, I am recognising that I have to be bold today.
It was mash at lunchtime and now I am revisiting the Skandishake supplement drink in any attempt to push the calories and strength forward.
I am like anyone else in that I can accept that I am ill and have recently had additional problems, but now I am impatient to get back to a level of functioning that makes life bearable.
I am hoping that my efforts will pay dividends.
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Supplementary Drinks
There has been a lot of discussion about supplementary drinks in the comments of the blog, so I thought that I would relay my experience.
I tried the Fortisip supplements some time ago and they didn't agree with me. I didn't help that I had them at the beginning of the radiotherapy process so, not only did they taste really bad but they also started to burn once radiotherapy took hold.
By far the best for me have been the Skandishake drinks and I literally "survived" on these for a good month and a half during and after radiotherapy. When the cancer went to the liver though the body started to reject them immediately and severely. I am considering giving them another go now but in smaller measures.
I also have another that I was given this time in hospital called "Calogen". I believe that this is also Fortisip. When I left hospital the body also rejected that one, but I am going to give it another go as I get stronger.
With the secondary cancer my body cannot digest some of the things it was doing so easily before. An example is full fat rice pudding, which I tried unsuccessfully the other day.
I am constantly trying to find new things but am attuned to the reaction of my body and must listen to that first. It is important to try and keep the food down as otherwise the sickness becomes a destructive cycle that takes good food with it too.
Today, mash is on the agenda. It will be fortified with lots of butter for those extra calories - yum!
I tried the Fortisip supplements some time ago and they didn't agree with me. I didn't help that I had them at the beginning of the radiotherapy process so, not only did they taste really bad but they also started to burn once radiotherapy took hold.
By far the best for me have been the Skandishake drinks and I literally "survived" on these for a good month and a half during and after radiotherapy. When the cancer went to the liver though the body started to reject them immediately and severely. I am considering giving them another go now but in smaller measures.
I also have another that I was given this time in hospital called "Calogen". I believe that this is also Fortisip. When I left hospital the body also rejected that one, but I am going to give it another go as I get stronger.
With the secondary cancer my body cannot digest some of the things it was doing so easily before. An example is full fat rice pudding, which I tried unsuccessfully the other day.
I am constantly trying to find new things but am attuned to the reaction of my body and must listen to that first. It is important to try and keep the food down as otherwise the sickness becomes a destructive cycle that takes good food with it too.
Today, mash is on the agenda. It will be fortified with lots of butter for those extra calories - yum!
Tuesday, 11 January 2011
A Little Mystery Explained
When I went into hospital with swallowing problems it was because of problems that I was experiencing high up in the oesophagus.
Anyone reading the blog may be forgiven for wondering why the displaced stent caused this because the stent is positioned low down at the main site of the tumour.
I spoke with the consultant on my way into theatre and he explained that the feeling could still be high up even if the problem lay with the stent.
I thought I would mention that as a matter of record (for myself, even if no-one else is interested)!
Anyone reading the blog may be forgiven for wondering why the displaced stent caused this because the stent is positioned low down at the main site of the tumour.
I spoke with the consultant on my way into theatre and he explained that the feeling could still be high up even if the problem lay with the stent.
I thought I would mention that as a matter of record (for myself, even if no-one else is interested)!
On the Up?!
I am sure that today will be full of the usual difficulties and many highs and lows. However, it has to be said that this is definitely the best that I have started the day for two weeks or so and I am grateful for that alone.
The trend is up and I can live with that. I am hoping that I will get to a point where there is "traction" and I just get better "all of a sudden". That would be great as I can then just get on with enjoying the simple things and using it as a platform to build from.
I have started by adding some Weetabix to the diet, so I will have to see how that goes. Anything with carbohydrates is good for the calories and smooth yoghurts have been my saviour over the last couple of days.
The trend is up and I can live with that. I am hoping that I will get to a point where there is "traction" and I just get better "all of a sudden". That would be great as I can then just get on with enjoying the simple things and using it as a platform to build from.
I have started by adding some Weetabix to the diet, so I will have to see how that goes. Anything with carbohydrates is good for the calories and smooth yoghurts have been my saviour over the last couple of days.
Good News for Lady Dai and Mrs Stockholm
News of another baby in the family.
Lady Dai and Mrs Stockholm are expecting at the end of June. Despite their monikers, yes, one of them is male!
This is a quite late one though not overly so by today's standards and only a few years later starting than Kitten and myself.
Good luck to both of them. Also, my apologies to Mrs Stockholm for not being able to take her call last night but I was having a rough patch!
Lady Dai and Mrs Stockholm are expecting at the end of June. Despite their monikers, yes, one of them is male!
This is a quite late one though not overly so by today's standards and only a few years later starting than Kitten and myself.
Good luck to both of them. Also, my apologies to Mrs Stockholm for not being able to take her call last night but I was having a rough patch!
Monday, 10 January 2011
A Mixed Bag Day So Far
Today has been a bit of a mixed bag.
I say that because I started off feeling strong but have ended up a little under the weather.
Last night I got a little mash done for the first time since having the stent fitted, so today I thought that I would try some rice pudding. I managed to eat it without a problem but I think that it is just too fatty for my body to process now.
The after effect is to make me weak, but I am now back on the soup and trying to build up again.
This little journey is by no means a straight line and is one of perseverance, but I have spoken to different people today who seem to think that I am heading in the right direction. The sickness is still a concern and should be reviewed if it persists over the next few days.
I say that because I started off feeling strong but have ended up a little under the weather.
Last night I got a little mash done for the first time since having the stent fitted, so today I thought that I would try some rice pudding. I managed to eat it without a problem but I think that it is just too fatty for my body to process now.
The after effect is to make me weak, but I am now back on the soup and trying to build up again.
This little journey is by no means a straight line and is one of perseverance, but I have spoken to different people today who seem to think that I am heading in the right direction. The sickness is still a concern and should be reviewed if it persists over the next few days.
Sunday, 9 January 2011
A Slight Easing
Things feel a little easier today.
I am certainly not out of the woods yet and am still locked in a cycle of "force feeding" myself. However, there is a little more residual strength, which is perhaps measured by an ability to focus more and join in a little more.
The days are very boring at the moment as it really is a case of getting from one end to another and getting in and keeping in as many calories as possible.
Kitten is there with her guiding hand, both approving and chastising as well as ever suggesting. To be honest I would be lost without it.
On another positive note, it is great to be able to look outside the house and see sunshine. That's a commodity that has been missing for a lengthy spell.
Boogle has been on a sleep over at SandD's last night with their children and Huffty is off to the football this afternoon with Notoplip.
I am certainly not out of the woods yet and am still locked in a cycle of "force feeding" myself. However, there is a little more residual strength, which is perhaps measured by an ability to focus more and join in a little more.
The days are very boring at the moment as it really is a case of getting from one end to another and getting in and keeping in as many calories as possible.
Kitten is there with her guiding hand, both approving and chastising as well as ever suggesting. To be honest I would be lost without it.
On another positive note, it is great to be able to look outside the house and see sunshine. That's a commodity that has been missing for a lengthy spell.
Boogle has been on a sleep over at SandD's last night with their children and Huffty is off to the football this afternoon with Notoplip.
Saturday, 8 January 2011
Weight Loss
Each time that I have a little "bout" I tend to lose about 4lbs. With the events of the last week and a half that is closer to 10lbs, which is both significant and worrying.
I am focused on getting the diet up because that sort of event cannot be sustained. I am now two and a half stone lighter than before I started radiotherapy in August, so it has to be where my focus is if my health stands a chance of stabilising.
I am focused on getting the diet up because that sort of event cannot be sustained. I am now two and a half stone lighter than before I started radiotherapy in August, so it has to be where my focus is if my health stands a chance of stabilising.
Very Grateful For the Result
If you read my posts of the last few days it may seem that I am not grateful for the huge result I have had.
The fact that the problems were caused by a displaced stent has to be seen as the most positive outcome.
When you are living these days though it is hard to acknowledge anything. My posts have been minimal because that is all that I have had. I am certainly not out of the woods yet either but I feel like I am beginning to see some daylight at last. When looking at the situation it is important to realise that I had only just come out of hospital after having blood transfusions for anaemia, so my system has really been running very very low.
That said, although I am still weak and undernourished I am getting there with large doses of help from the ever supportive Kitten.
There is a huge difference between knowing that you having got more material problems and the feeling of just being under the cosh but the latter has an immediate impact which cannot be immediately thrown off.
Here's looking forwards to brighter days; and may they be soon! It will be good just to sit in comfort and laugh and joke with the family.
I am meant to be taking Huffty to Chelsea tomorrow with Notoplip and Sonic but that is not possible. Notoplip has kindly offered to look after both and I am grateful. The tickets are for an FA Cup match against Ipswich and we have got them in the "read supporters" stand, so Huffty is very excited and waiting to sing all his songs :-)
The fact that the problems were caused by a displaced stent has to be seen as the most positive outcome.
When you are living these days though it is hard to acknowledge anything. My posts have been minimal because that is all that I have had. I am certainly not out of the woods yet either but I feel like I am beginning to see some daylight at last. When looking at the situation it is important to realise that I had only just come out of hospital after having blood transfusions for anaemia, so my system has really been running very very low.
That said, although I am still weak and undernourished I am getting there with large doses of help from the ever supportive Kitten.
There is a huge difference between knowing that you having got more material problems and the feeling of just being under the cosh but the latter has an immediate impact which cannot be immediately thrown off.
Here's looking forwards to brighter days; and may they be soon! It will be good just to sit in comfort and laugh and joke with the family.
I am meant to be taking Huffty to Chelsea tomorrow with Notoplip and Sonic but that is not possible. Notoplip has kindly offered to look after both and I am grateful. The tickets are for an FA Cup match against Ipswich and we have got them in the "read supporters" stand, so Huffty is very excited and waiting to sing all his songs :-)
Friday, 7 January 2011
A little Easier
It is still tough today, but I am getting a little more food down.
Hopefully another couple of days and I will be back in reasonable shape.
Politically, it may not be the best thing to say but I am glad that the children are back at school. They are as good as gold when they are here but they should be able to run around and make noise and the less of that for me at the moment the better.
I am making the most of my room to rest and keep things very sedate.
Meanwhile Kitten continues to cope. Today's adventure was a problem with the car and she had to call out the AA. It has been carted off to Notoplip's garage for repair, whilst the AA man ensured that Kitten and the kids got home safely after school.
Hopefully another couple of days and I will be back in reasonable shape.
Politically, it may not be the best thing to say but I am glad that the children are back at school. They are as good as gold when they are here but they should be able to run around and make noise and the less of that for me at the moment the better.
I am making the most of my room to rest and keep things very sedate.
Meanwhile Kitten continues to cope. Today's adventure was a problem with the car and she had to call out the AA. It has been carted off to Notoplip's garage for repair, whilst the AA man ensured that Kitten and the kids got home safely after school.
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