Similar Patterns

The same patterns have prevailed during the early stages of the third cycle of chemotherapy.

I can't say that I have suffered in any way.  In many ways the last week has been no worse than having virus or working to a tough deadline.  It has also been less debilatating than the former.

What can be difficult is that in these first few days there is a tendency to be insular and to just drag oneself through it. In other words, I have been quite grumpy and intolerant.

It's difficult to put a finger on any solitary reason but as mitigaton it is fair to say that there have been a lot of drugs going in there including steriods.  The first few days it is a question of getting food in to the system.  I have been able to eat but food is not enjoyable. One of the things I disliked was water (which is none too helpful) and, whilst I haven't suffered too badly with smells, the smell of a new clothes' conditioner we have been using has been both rancid and ubiquitous.

All in all the first week of  chemotherapy has repeatedly been something that has been an uncomfortable but not an outright unpleasant experience.  Days six and seven usually see a surge of energy, but at this stage it is not held down well.  This makes me feel a little "hyper" and it was on day seven of the second cycle that I lost my temper (in a verbal sense).  Being aware of those patterns helps but it doesn't stop the same issues arising albeit in diluted form.  With this in mind I feel honestly that the first week of chemotherapy is probably worse for those that have to put up with me.

It is very difficult not to be moody because it feels like you are on a boat that, whilst not under any real duress, is pitching an rolling all over the place.  Your job is to focus solely on what you have to do and you don't really have the resources to consider others roles.  That sounds selfish and it is.

Barring the risk of infection and the now omnipresent and escalating tinnitus that seems to be it for the pre-operative phases of chemotherapy.  Of course, there are plenty more tablets to take in this twenty one day cycle and I also begin five days of filgrastim blood boosing injections today.  However, caution and due care can now supersede irritability and muddling through.

Hopefully, I won't be waking up at 4am tomorrow morning either.  Ah well, back to bed.