I jotted a quick note about the visit to Wales last night just before we started to get ready to make the journey home.
Although it was difficult for me to get there it was more than worth it.
I have been grateful for the support that I have received from many different quarters during what has been a difficult year and it is especially heart-warming to be reminded of the affection that is there for me within my close family. It is also good to be reminded of the support that is there for my parents given that my sister and I are in London.
Seeing the newborns was uplifting and it was also both humourous and warming in the context of viewing the changing nature of relationships. My aunties and uncles becoming grandmothers and grandfathers and my cousins becoming mothers.
Aside from all the "gushy" stuff, it was also just good for the Swordfish clan to get out of our own house where everyone except Kitten has been ill in the last week.
So it is back to normal now. I made it in for a 9:00 am with the mad Canadian Osteopath (more on that later) and then into work.
Monday, 1 November 2010
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Effort Worthwhile
It was tough yesterday both from the perspective of making the journey down to Wales and the rest of the day. I struggled to hold onto any food and was really out of sorts.
It was worth it though.
I knew that this was the last opportunity that we would have to make it down here for a while.
We saw Roxy and her new baby yesterday and today with Roxy's parents (Lindylu and Yorkshire boy). This morning was a busy morning with visits from Magic Coat, the serious barman, young aunty and the rest of their merry entourage as well as Mr and Mrs Butcher and Swelly Belly, her new arrival and Swelly Belly's parents (Gandalf and Bee).
Thanks to everyone for visiting.
The weekend has been good for my spirits, if somewhat draining. We now have the journey back to look forward to.
Kitten has had to do everything including the driving, which is normally my responsibility. An exhausting experience for her but she has appreciated a change of scene and loves the opportunity to hold a newborn.
It was worth it though.
I knew that this was the last opportunity that we would have to make it down here for a while.
We saw Roxy and her new baby yesterday and today with Roxy's parents (Lindylu and Yorkshire boy). This morning was a busy morning with visits from Magic Coat, the serious barman, young aunty and the rest of their merry entourage as well as Mr and Mrs Butcher and Swelly Belly, her new arrival and Swelly Belly's parents (Gandalf and Bee).
Thanks to everyone for visiting.
The weekend has been good for my spirits, if somewhat draining. We now have the journey back to look forward to.
Kitten has had to do everything including the driving, which is normally my responsibility. An exhausting experience for her but she has appreciated a change of scene and loves the opportunity to hold a newborn.
Saturday, 30 October 2010
Off to Wales
I must admit that I have felt better. The aftermath of the cold means that I am even struggling to get rice pudding down as the cold has irritated the oesophagus. The irritation simply makes it even more difficult for food to pass down and I have even had a problem with Ribena.
The eating problems have triggered more weight loss - I have lost about four pounds this week.
That all said and done, it will be difficult to find an opportunity to get away over the next few weeks so we are off, even though it is just for a day.
Hopefully, I will get through the weekend in one piece.
The eating problems have triggered more weight loss - I have lost about four pounds this week.
That all said and done, it will be difficult to find an opportunity to get away over the next few weeks so we are off, even though it is just for a day.
Hopefully, I will get through the weekend in one piece.
Friday, 29 October 2010
Trip to Wales Jeopardized
Our plan was to drive to Wales this morning for the weekend.
Whilst I have been over the worst of my cold the aftermath has not been pleasant. I have been suffering a lot of discomfort in my abdomen, which has made eating more difficult. The worst part of the aftermath though has been the congestion that comes after a heavy cold.
Let's just say that I have been having problems before eating and having more significant problems after eating.
Boogle has recovered from her cold and Huffty had a sickness bug yesterday, which he has not recovered from but the whole picture isn't very good.
Yesterday we were considering just Boogle and I travelling, but that was before I was up for three and a half hours suffering from hunger and then the aforementioned problems of having fed myself. We would have gone down at 10am so that was out of the question and there was the wider question of whether I would settle in any reasonable way whilst out of the house.
At the moment we are reviewing the situation with the possibility of travelling tomorrow morning. We won't do so though unless we consider ourselves germ free and with a view to excluding any contact between Huffty and newborns. Although he is fine now there needs to be a good gap after any sickness related illness.
On balance (and within a constantly changing picture) it seems unlikely that we will travel, which will be a big disappointment
Whilst I have been over the worst of my cold the aftermath has not been pleasant. I have been suffering a lot of discomfort in my abdomen, which has made eating more difficult. The worst part of the aftermath though has been the congestion that comes after a heavy cold.
Let's just say that I have been having problems before eating and having more significant problems after eating.
Boogle has recovered from her cold and Huffty had a sickness bug yesterday, which he has not recovered from but the whole picture isn't very good.
Yesterday we were considering just Boogle and I travelling, but that was before I was up for three and a half hours suffering from hunger and then the aforementioned problems of having fed myself. We would have gone down at 10am so that was out of the question and there was the wider question of whether I would settle in any reasonable way whilst out of the house.
At the moment we are reviewing the situation with the possibility of travelling tomorrow morning. We won't do so though unless we consider ourselves germ free and with a view to excluding any contact between Huffty and newborns. Although he is fine now there needs to be a good gap after any sickness related illness.
On balance (and within a constantly changing picture) it seems unlikely that we will travel, which will be a big disappointment
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Keeping up Appearances
One of the things that is unusual about my situtation is that I still look perfectly healthy.
It is true have shed a few pounds (about half a stone from when I was diagnosed). This weight is muscle based, so it is from my legs, chest and shoulders but the impact is not huge.
It is interesting when watching peoples' reactions upon meeting them when I haven't seen them for a while. They invariably look surprised that I look so well.
For much of the time I have had a very tightly cropped haircut, but that was only to avoid the hair looking patchy rather than because it was falling out en masse. However, that isn't the case anymore as I have a full head of hair again.
The only area of my body, which has been blasted of hair is in the direct area where the radiotherapy was targeted i.e. the middle of my chest and the abdomen area just below it. It does look quite odd, but I figure that will be remedied before I get back on the beach!
I am of course much less fit than before and the effect of the radiotherapy is still very much present as it works for 12 weeks after administration. That takes us well into December and effects such as lethargy can continue for a good 6 months after treatment has finished.
The only time that it is completely obvious that I am poorly is at meal times (he says whilst eating another tin of cream of chicken soup)
It is true have shed a few pounds (about half a stone from when I was diagnosed). This weight is muscle based, so it is from my legs, chest and shoulders but the impact is not huge.
It is interesting when watching peoples' reactions upon meeting them when I haven't seen them for a while. They invariably look surprised that I look so well.
For much of the time I have had a very tightly cropped haircut, but that was only to avoid the hair looking patchy rather than because it was falling out en masse. However, that isn't the case anymore as I have a full head of hair again.
The only area of my body, which has been blasted of hair is in the direct area where the radiotherapy was targeted i.e. the middle of my chest and the abdomen area just below it. It does look quite odd, but I figure that will be remedied before I get back on the beach!
I am of course much less fit than before and the effect of the radiotherapy is still very much present as it works for 12 weeks after administration. That takes us well into December and effects such as lethargy can continue for a good 6 months after treatment has finished.
The only time that it is completely obvious that I am poorly is at meal times (he says whilst eating another tin of cream of chicken soup)
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
Magic Coat and Shaking off the Cold
I spoke with Magic Coat again yesterday and he is home from hospital. He has some problems with discs bulging from the car accident and may need surgery if the pins and needles in has arms persist. Thankfully, he is OK for now and needs a couple of weeks to recover.
I've spent much of today in retreat again trying to rest and sleep my cold off. I'm a lot better than yesterday but I am not the only family member to have it. Boogle also has a nasty case.
The kids are on half-term and Kitten has been at home with them today, so I am being well looked after too.
I am hoping to get back into action tomorrow on the assumption that the cold will have lifted.
Having had a good "sneezathon" the Swordfish that appears from the mist will be the one that is due to lie down in the scanner in a couple of weeks time. So, the next period will be as good as it gets on the way to reassessment.
I've spent much of today in retreat again trying to rest and sleep my cold off. I'm a lot better than yesterday but I am not the only family member to have it. Boogle also has a nasty case.
The kids are on half-term and Kitten has been at home with them today, so I am being well looked after too.
I am hoping to get back into action tomorrow on the assumption that the cold will have lifted.
Having had a good "sneezathon" the Swordfish that appears from the mist will be the one that is due to lie down in the scanner in a couple of weeks time. So, the next period will be as good as it gets on the way to reassessment.
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
There's a First Time For Everything
I mentioned that Kitten recently observed that I had not yet spent a day ill in our specially configured and redecorated (courtesy of the lads) bedroom. Well, I have finally "put that one to bed".
Ironically it was not the might of mitosis (cancer) that put me there, rather is was a common cold.
I can't say that it is much fun being ill and having a cold on top of it, but this is the first fully blown cold that I have had this year. In that context, dozing in bed and dosing up with flu remedy is not such a bad thing.
I get the feeling that this could has been trying to come out for a while because, although I feel lousy, my abdomen feels much better and it is that which has been given me so many problems of late. There is also no doubt that the extra sleep won't do me any harm.
The main objective now is to get myself clear of the cold for the weekend, so that I won't have to miss out on meeting the newborns. As it is only Tuesday that shouldn't be a problem.
Ironically it was not the might of mitosis (cancer) that put me there, rather is was a common cold.
I can't say that it is much fun being ill and having a cold on top of it, but this is the first fully blown cold that I have had this year. In that context, dozing in bed and dosing up with flu remedy is not such a bad thing.
I get the feeling that this could has been trying to come out for a while because, although I feel lousy, my abdomen feels much better and it is that which has been given me so many problems of late. There is also no doubt that the extra sleep won't do me any harm.
The main objective now is to get myself clear of the cold for the weekend, so that I won't have to miss out on meeting the newborns. As it is only Tuesday that shouldn't be a problem.
Monday, 25 October 2010
A Deeper Level
I've mentioned that I went to the osteopath again today.
Most of the treatment that I am having at the moment is based on the cranial osteopathy model rather than having a skeletal problem (e.g. a back problem).
Part of the cranial osteopathy philosophy and, indeed, part of the traditional osteopathy philosophy is promoting well-being within the body rather than just focusing on the aspects that require remedial work.
Cancer involves the multiplication of bad cells in a process called "mitosis" and chemotherapy and radiotherapy seek to destroy the bad cells and call an end to the process. In attempting to achieve these aims both processes destroy not just bad cells and tissue but also good ones.
The cranial osteopathy treatment that I am receiving, as well as my own personal efforts are focused in a different way and, I suppose, may be considered to be a complementary opposite.
Aspects of cranial osteopathy seek to engage with the person's underlying "blueprint" and promote it. That may be viewed in a contra light as it can be considered as promoting a healthy environment rather than trying to reverse the bad.
Of course it is the heavy guns of radiotherapy and chemotherapy which are the centre-piece of any potential cure but the contra approach is a healthy one.
Whilst the cranial osteopathy provides a physical aspect of the contra approach the aspect of my meditations with my mantra aim to do the same thing on a mental and emotional level.
The mantra is about going back to my source and generating the flower image from that just as the aum is perceived to emanate from the source as I explained in a previous post http://thebookofsilence.blogspot.com/2010/10/using-mantra.html
I had not perceived the synergistic approach of the cranial osteopathy and what I am doing myself, but it feels good to be "singing from the same song sheet" and is helpful in continuing to feel positive.
Most of the treatment that I am having at the moment is based on the cranial osteopathy model rather than having a skeletal problem (e.g. a back problem).
Part of the cranial osteopathy philosophy and, indeed, part of the traditional osteopathy philosophy is promoting well-being within the body rather than just focusing on the aspects that require remedial work.
Cancer involves the multiplication of bad cells in a process called "mitosis" and chemotherapy and radiotherapy seek to destroy the bad cells and call an end to the process. In attempting to achieve these aims both processes destroy not just bad cells and tissue but also good ones.
The cranial osteopathy treatment that I am receiving, as well as my own personal efforts are focused in a different way and, I suppose, may be considered to be a complementary opposite.
Aspects of cranial osteopathy seek to engage with the person's underlying "blueprint" and promote it. That may be viewed in a contra light as it can be considered as promoting a healthy environment rather than trying to reverse the bad.
Of course it is the heavy guns of radiotherapy and chemotherapy which are the centre-piece of any potential cure but the contra approach is a healthy one.
Whilst the cranial osteopathy provides a physical aspect of the contra approach the aspect of my meditations with my mantra aim to do the same thing on a mental and emotional level.
The mantra is about going back to my source and generating the flower image from that just as the aum is perceived to emanate from the source as I explained in a previous post http://thebookofsilence.blogspot.com/2010/10/using-mantra.html
"To me, however, it is symbolic of regeneration and healing. I often imagine the rose heads as cells and the spreading of good cells in my body"
A Funny Moment
When I get off the train I have to go up a set of steps.
There was a woman a couple of steps ahead of me and I could see a woman on my left-hand side making swift progess up the stairs from behind me.
It became clear quickly that the woman on my left was a friend of the other woman and, sure enough, she reached out and tugged the back of her friend's coat.
The woman who had her coat tugged turned around my way and looked at me. It was a look of both bemusement and of disdain, so I took my "i Fa Fa" headphone out and said "not me", whilst pointing at her mate.
I then turned to her mate and said "thanks for making me look like a sex offender".
There was a lot of laughter as I marched off to greet Kitten who was waiting in the car for me.
As is my nature though, I thought that I would leave with the upper hand by turning around and saying "nice arse though".
It got a laugh :-)
There was a woman a couple of steps ahead of me and I could see a woman on my left-hand side making swift progess up the stairs from behind me.
It became clear quickly that the woman on my left was a friend of the other woman and, sure enough, she reached out and tugged the back of her friend's coat.
The woman who had her coat tugged turned around my way and looked at me. It was a look of both bemusement and of disdain, so I took my "i Fa Fa" headphone out and said "not me", whilst pointing at her mate.
I then turned to her mate and said "thanks for making me look like a sex offender".
There was a lot of laughter as I marched off to greet Kitten who was waiting in the car for me.
As is my nature though, I thought that I would leave with the upper hand by turning around and saying "nice arse though".
It got a laugh :-)
Stepping it Up
I am still under the weather and a cold has added to my woes.
However, I made it into work for a short period today because I was scheduled to see the mad Canadian osteopath this morning. I also saw him last Friday mornign and am trying to step up my positive contribution towards getting better.
This no-man's land between the end of treatment and being scanned again is tough.
Yesterday, I managed to do some Chi Kung for the first time in a while and I hope to keep that going. The physical position of the body in Chi Kung means that there is dynamic tension (especially within the legs) and that is good for legs that have been wasted away.
The worst of my physical problems has been constant griping in the abdomen and that could be caused by a number of reasons
However, I made it into work for a short period today because I was scheduled to see the mad Canadian osteopath this morning. I also saw him last Friday mornign and am trying to step up my positive contribution towards getting better.
This no-man's land between the end of treatment and being scanned again is tough.
Yesterday, I managed to do some Chi Kung for the first time in a while and I hope to keep that going. The physical position of the body in Chi Kung means that there is dynamic tension (especially within the legs) and that is good for legs that have been wasted away.
The worst of my physical problems has been constant griping in the abdomen and that could be caused by a number of reasons
- The effect of the radiotherapy on the tumour (which is at the junction of the stomach)
- The soft diet
- Constipation
- The cancer becoming secondary in my stomach
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