I am meeting with my ex-Managing Director at lunchtime today.
He was lucky enough to retire at 50 years old and take up a life time of ski instructing in the winter and walking in the summer. It's a tough life.
He is returning to his natural overseas habitat at the end of the week, so we are catching up today. It would be nice to say that we are going for a spot of lunch, but I cannot think of anywhere in the locale that serves milkshakes.
Meeting at a mainline railway station presents its own psychological difficulties because all of them in London have stalls selling traditional Cornish pasties. I am very fond of them and their smell travels. I guess I will have to do my impression of the kids in the "Bisto advert" - Ahhhhh Bisto. At least it will be better than me with my faced pressed up against MacDonald's yesterday dribbling down the window (don't worry, I only imagined that one as I walked past).
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
In the Music
I mentioned a while back that I intended working with my decks again as I thought it to be a useful medium for exercising the mind, whilst not being too strenuous and also music being a good energy to work with.
I set the decks up a while ago and they have been waiting for me. I am not quite there yet as I am waiting for a piece of equipment to arrive to complete the picture but a recent conversation has prompted me to start listening to some of my old work, having taken an age to dig out my CDs.
Like most people I am critical of my own work and it is always difficult to focus on its merits at the time that you produce it because one tends to focus on the flaws. Having listened back to it with the barrier of time between me and the work, I have to say that I have enjoyed being near it again.
The music I worked with was very uplifting and has done wonders for my mood. The funk is returning!
It is a gentle hobby that should help to lift my energy levels and still provide me with a challenge, so it is onwards and upwards on this front.
A good friend of mine "The Sound Man" who I used to DJ with has offered me the opportunity to play in front of several thousand people next year in May, but in a genre of music that is slightly out of my comfort zone. However, that is something to focus on.
I set the decks up a while ago and they have been waiting for me. I am not quite there yet as I am waiting for a piece of equipment to arrive to complete the picture but a recent conversation has prompted me to start listening to some of my old work, having taken an age to dig out my CDs.
Like most people I am critical of my own work and it is always difficult to focus on its merits at the time that you produce it because one tends to focus on the flaws. Having listened back to it with the barrier of time between me and the work, I have to say that I have enjoyed being near it again.
The music I worked with was very uplifting and has done wonders for my mood. The funk is returning!
It is a gentle hobby that should help to lift my energy levels and still provide me with a challenge, so it is onwards and upwards on this front.
A good friend of mine "The Sound Man" who I used to DJ with has offered me the opportunity to play in front of several thousand people next year in May, but in a genre of music that is slightly out of my comfort zone. However, that is something to focus on.
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
A Special Day
Firstly, a very happy birthday to a very good friend of mine "Billy the Fish". He has now joined me at the ripe old age of 45. I hope that you, Saucy Sue and the kids have a lovely day. The fish say hello too, from your kindly gifted aquarium.
Apart from Billy the Fish joining me in nudging ever closer to the big FIVE ZERO, today is also memorable for Kitten and me.
It was ten years ago today that Kitten accepted my proposal of marriage.
It was an interesting time as we had only been back on British soil for a few days, having spent the summer in Ibiza.
In some respects my proposal was spontaneous. In another respect I experienced a "moment" and I have always felt that special moments are invoked from a chain of events articulating a truth. This moment was fashioned from our journey over the year and a half that we had known each other and the feelings that had grown over that time, particularly our shared time living together abroad.
I was working in the Farringdon area of London at the time, which is just around the corner from Hatton Garden (the centre of the London jewellery trade). At lunchtime I walked through Hatton Garden to Leather Lane, which is a bustling street market and then to Chancery lane to buy a sandwich. I can only dream about Pret a Manager sandwiches now, but that was my mission on the day.
I didn't wait to get back to the office to unfurl one of the little beauties from it's packaging but on the way my eye was caught by a couple of engagement ringss, which were sitting amongst many in a shop en route. I wasn't looking but they were at the apex of the window and right in my line of view. I stopped and had a good look and marched in to discuss.
The next day we were off to a restaurant at my suggestion. Kitten was a little bit curious as to why I was so smart and also a little curious as to why I wouldn't embrace her fully. I was holding her slightly at arm's length because the ring was boxed and in my jacket pocket.
When our romantic moment was sealed and the champagne bottle was empty I said quite proudly that I was pleased that there weren't any other significant occasions on this date and immediately contradicted myself by exclaiming "It's 'Billy the Fish's' birthday". I gave him a call to straight away to congratulate him and give him the news.
So the 5th October 2010 is the birthday of Billy the Fish and the 10th year since Kitten and I got engaged.
As I recall the Pret a Manger sandwiches were very nice too!
Apart from Billy the Fish joining me in nudging ever closer to the big FIVE ZERO, today is also memorable for Kitten and me.
It was ten years ago today that Kitten accepted my proposal of marriage.
It was an interesting time as we had only been back on British soil for a few days, having spent the summer in Ibiza.
In some respects my proposal was spontaneous. In another respect I experienced a "moment" and I have always felt that special moments are invoked from a chain of events articulating a truth. This moment was fashioned from our journey over the year and a half that we had known each other and the feelings that had grown over that time, particularly our shared time living together abroad.
I was working in the Farringdon area of London at the time, which is just around the corner from Hatton Garden (the centre of the London jewellery trade). At lunchtime I walked through Hatton Garden to Leather Lane, which is a bustling street market and then to Chancery lane to buy a sandwich. I can only dream about Pret a Manager sandwiches now, but that was my mission on the day.
I didn't wait to get back to the office to unfurl one of the little beauties from it's packaging but on the way my eye was caught by a couple of engagement ringss, which were sitting amongst many in a shop en route. I wasn't looking but they were at the apex of the window and right in my line of view. I stopped and had a good look and marched in to discuss.
The next day we were off to a restaurant at my suggestion. Kitten was a little bit curious as to why I was so smart and also a little curious as to why I wouldn't embrace her fully. I was holding her slightly at arm's length because the ring was boxed and in my jacket pocket.
When our romantic moment was sealed and the champagne bottle was empty I said quite proudly that I was pleased that there weren't any other significant occasions on this date and immediately contradicted myself by exclaiming "It's 'Billy the Fish's' birthday". I gave him a call to straight away to congratulate him and give him the news.
So the 5th October 2010 is the birthday of Billy the Fish and the 10th year since Kitten and I got engaged.
As I recall the Pret a Manger sandwiches were very nice too!
Monday, 4 October 2010
The X Factor
Today when I was told that I would get a scan at the beginning of November I wasn't clear exactly what the purpose of the scan was i.e. I wasn't clear whether the purpose of the scan was to confirm that the treatment had worked or whether it was an intermediary scan.
Don't get me wrong, I did ask the question but I didn't receive straightforward answers.
Although I don't know I don't really care. The reason is that if I enter the succeeding meeting knowing that it is Emperor Nero time (thumbs up or thumbs down) then the whole meeting becomes like contestants in the
X-Factor where they have a long walk to face Simon Cowell before being told "I'm taking you through" or "I am sorry but you haven't made it".
There is always a clue for good or bad news in these meetings though. The presence of the Cancer Nurse signals bad news, so you know when you walk through the door anyway.
It's still a tough time at the moment with little energy, lots of pain and an inability to eat, so it continues to be nose to the grindstone and hope for good news.
I know one thing for sure, if I get through this then I have paid my dues. The first part of the journey through chemotherapy was a "cake-walk". This latter part of the journey has been a long hard haul.
Don't get me wrong, I did ask the question but I didn't receive straightforward answers.
Although I don't know I don't really care. The reason is that if I enter the succeeding meeting knowing that it is Emperor Nero time (thumbs up or thumbs down) then the whole meeting becomes like contestants in the
X-Factor where they have a long walk to face Simon Cowell before being told "I'm taking you through" or "I am sorry but you haven't made it".
There is always a clue for good or bad news in these meetings though. The presence of the Cancer Nurse signals bad news, so you know when you walk through the door anyway.
It's still a tough time at the moment with little energy, lots of pain and an inability to eat, so it continues to be nose to the grindstone and hope for good news.
I know one thing for sure, if I get through this then I have paid my dues. The first part of the journey through chemotherapy was a "cake-walk". This latter part of the journey has been a long hard haul.
Medical Update
My appointment with the radiotherapy team this afternoon yielded little information, but there was comfort that the symptoms that I am experiencing are not unusual.
They are bringing forward the original planned scan date to the beginning of November (to be arranged) and I have an appointment arranged for 15th November at 4.15pm.
In the meantime it is a question of continuing to live in "Milkshake City" until I can manage some solids.
They are bringing forward the original planned scan date to the beginning of November (to be arranged) and I have an appointment arranged for 15th November at 4.15pm.
In the meantime it is a question of continuing to live in "Milkshake City" until I can manage some solids.
Kitten's Mum Came Home
Kitten's family made their presence felt yesterday.
There was a visit from Kitten's brother Mad4it and his daughter Kiki and the good news that Kitten's mum has returned home from hospital.
I have not seen Mad4it since I was diagnosed, so it was good to catch up with him and a mutually agreeable day as Chelsea beat Arsenal (Mad4it and the rest of his family are Spurs supporters).
It was Huffty's first big London derby so he experienced a completely different atmosphere at the match to the one he associates with visiting teams like Blackpool and Stoke.
There was a visit from Kitten's brother Mad4it and his daughter Kiki and the good news that Kitten's mum has returned home from hospital.
I have not seen Mad4it since I was diagnosed, so it was good to catch up with him and a mutually agreeable day as Chelsea beat Arsenal (Mad4it and the rest of his family are Spurs supporters).
It was Huffty's first big London derby so he experienced a completely different atmosphere at the match to the one he associates with visiting teams like Blackpool and Stoke.
Sunday, 3 October 2010
Back to The Marsden Tomorrow
Today is a big day for Huffty as we are off to Chelsea vs Arsenal this afternoon. It will be the first big derby game he will have seen at Chelsea's ground as most of the games he has seen have been against the less "commercially attractive" Premiership teams.
The last week or so has been difficult from a psychological perspective because my eating capability has actually gone backwards.
The push to mobilise myself this week has taken a little out of me and I haven't ended up in particularly good shape, so I am looking forward to tomorrow's 3:30pm meeting at the Marsden. A conversation can help to restore the confidence and it is difficult to keep that confidence high when dealing with negative symptoms whilst also not having any idea about underlying progress.
I did find out this morning that someone know to the family, who has had radiotherapy on the oesophagus, has said that the eating doesn't really improve and this despite the fact that the radiotherapy has removed her cancer. It is is a the operation that is required to do this. This is a very different scenario to the chemotherapy which improved the eating, but chemotherapy doesn't burn the oesophagus!
The last week or so has been difficult from a psychological perspective because my eating capability has actually gone backwards.
The push to mobilise myself this week has taken a little out of me and I haven't ended up in particularly good shape, so I am looking forward to tomorrow's 3:30pm meeting at the Marsden. A conversation can help to restore the confidence and it is difficult to keep that confidence high when dealing with negative symptoms whilst also not having any idea about underlying progress.
I did find out this morning that someone know to the family, who has had radiotherapy on the oesophagus, has said that the eating doesn't really improve and this despite the fact that the radiotherapy has removed her cancer. It is is a the operation that is required to do this. This is a very different scenario to the chemotherapy which improved the eating, but chemotherapy doesn't burn the oesophagus!
Saturday, 2 October 2010
Lots of Poorly People!
Whilst I have been trying to normalise my own life this week there are lots of poorly people around me.
Kitten's mum is still in hospital. She is still in pain from her condition and suffering sickness (likely caused by the pain management drugs). The hospital is continuing to try and resolve the pain management issue. There is hope that she will be allowed out tomorrow but no confirmation. It is over two weeks since she was admitted.
Yorkshire boy is going through the medical loop too and we wish him well.
Add to this my mother's bad back and Kitten's forthcoming operation (she saw the consultant for a pre-op meeting yesterday) and it is clear to see that I am not the only one with problems at the moment.
At least my situation is currently under some for of control though I guess that all of us except Kitten are in the same boat of not having a firm picture of how or what our condition is.
Our thoughts also to Swelly Belly and Tattoo boy's baby who is being nurtured to the best of starts.
Kitten's mum is still in hospital. She is still in pain from her condition and suffering sickness (likely caused by the pain management drugs). The hospital is continuing to try and resolve the pain management issue. There is hope that she will be allowed out tomorrow but no confirmation. It is over two weeks since she was admitted.
Yorkshire boy is going through the medical loop too and we wish him well.
Add to this my mother's bad back and Kitten's forthcoming operation (she saw the consultant for a pre-op meeting yesterday) and it is clear to see that I am not the only one with problems at the moment.
At least my situation is currently under some for of control though I guess that all of us except Kitten are in the same boat of not having a firm picture of how or what our condition is.
Our thoughts also to Swelly Belly and Tattoo boy's baby who is being nurtured to the best of starts.
Getting On With It
This week I have tried to push myself forwards and have done well. However, I have run out of steam at the end of the week.
Yesterday was my third half day session in the office in London and that means being out of the house for between six and seven hours if the commute is included.
Yesterday, I had to call the day a little short but I am planning to be in on Monday morning and will pick up where I left off.
My ability to eat has gone backwards slightly this week and the general pain got worse towards the end of the week but that probably reflects the level of activity.
So, rest is prescribed for today. I will be giving Huffty's football match a miss today especially as I will be having an afternoon out with him tomorrow taking him to see the big London football derby of Chelsea vs Arsenal.
My weight is stable again and that is encouraging. Although I have had to rely on the milkshakes more than I would have liked to this week my weight is at 10st 9lbs, which is some 6-7 lbs off the lows of a couple of weeks ago.
It would be nice to think that the eating will improve over the next few weeks. Yesterday, I didn't even manage the usual shepherd's pie type of affair. The only non-milkshake food yesterday was soup.
I have an appointment at the Marsden on Monday afternoon and I will be able to discuss my progress then. I also believe that I will be getting a date for he all important scan in December.
Yesterday was my third half day session in the office in London and that means being out of the house for between six and seven hours if the commute is included.
Yesterday, I had to call the day a little short but I am planning to be in on Monday morning and will pick up where I left off.
My ability to eat has gone backwards slightly this week and the general pain got worse towards the end of the week but that probably reflects the level of activity.
So, rest is prescribed for today. I will be giving Huffty's football match a miss today especially as I will be having an afternoon out with him tomorrow taking him to see the big London football derby of Chelsea vs Arsenal.
My weight is stable again and that is encouraging. Although I have had to rely on the milkshakes more than I would have liked to this week my weight is at 10st 9lbs, which is some 6-7 lbs off the lows of a couple of weeks ago.
It would be nice to think that the eating will improve over the next few weeks. Yesterday, I didn't even manage the usual shepherd's pie type of affair. The only non-milkshake food yesterday was soup.
I have an appointment at the Marsden on Monday afternoon and I will be able to discuss my progress then. I also believe that I will be getting a date for he all important scan in December.
Friday, 1 October 2010
Family Night Out
We managed a family night out last nigth to see a show called Traces at the Peacock theatre in London.
It was good to get out as as family for something other than childrens' activities and the show was inspirational.
It was a circus acrobatics based act in a contemporary setting. The level of skill was quite astonishing and it is good for the children to see something that is beyond the ordinary because it gives them a sense of what can be achieved with hard work and talent.
When you see something like this the talent is much more obvious than that of a good singer or much that the children get exposed to via the medium of Television.
It was good to get out as as family for something other than childrens' activities and the show was inspirational.
It was a circus acrobatics based act in a contemporary setting. The level of skill was quite astonishing and it is good for the children to see something that is beyond the ordinary because it gives them a sense of what can be achieved with hard work and talent.
When you see something like this the talent is much more obvious than that of a good singer or much that the children get exposed to via the medium of Television.
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