A year has passed; at times it can seem like a lifetime or just a few moments.
The children and I continue on our daily challenges with thoughts of a loving Daddy or dearest husband never far from our minds. It seems we are on the rollercoaster of life which sometimes slows down but more often that not gathers great momentum when least expected.
Boogle Bunny is in her final year of primary school with the school selection process complete and we are just days away from finding out if she has gained a place in her first choice of secondary school; I never envisaged making such decisions as a lone parent - it is most certainly not easy and Swordfish had such a methodical and pragmatic way of thinking. I really miss his input and opinions.
Boogle has struggled a huge amount over the last year with many peaks and troughs. She is very emotional, determind, headstrong and outspoken - just like her daddy - but I have sought help from different places and both she and I have been given a massive amount of support, help and advise. It is exhausting to deal with a child's emotions and grief whilst managing ones own too.
Hufty continues in his usual manner. Nothing much changed initially but in the last few months he has shown more anger. His nature is very different to his sister's and although difficult at times, he has been easier to manage, direct and comfort. Being younger, perhaps he is more accepting of my words and advise.
No one writes a book on what to do or say, no one comes in and waves a wand over everything.
Dealing with this last year has been the hardest thing I have every had to do and I know I have made many mistakes but I hope I have learnt a lot about myself and about what is important in life. Now I just need to find the emotional strength and physical determination to see it through.
Thank you all for your continuing support. It has been very hard to write this update as the blog, well, it was Swordfish. Does that make sense?
Swordfish is always in my mind and will forever be in my heart.
